Weekly Missive 3.24
INITIATING GREMLIN GLOW
HERE WE GO AGAIN. This time last weekend, we were drunk at Andres Carne de Res, an epic clubstuarant 40 minutes outside of Bogota, Colombia. I had wanted to go for a decade and it exceeded all the hype boundaries I’ve ever set. We were between soup courses when a parade of revelers on piggyback passed by and handed me a sunflower. Ugh. Did I peak?
A travel guide is incoming. In the meantime, enjoy scenes from a truncated but eventful week of reality.
Hobbying: A full day of rotting on a restful, rainy Saturday. When done correctly, rotting is a hobby.
Eating: A beautiful genius had the audacity to stroll into my workplace absolutely glowing. I, a gremlin on my best day, had deplaned 7 hours previous and was looking and feeling like stale sunchips.
She told me about a cleanse she had been at for 10 days. I would follow her into hell on a normal day, but I signed up for this without thinking twice.
This is the guide. It requires…
A strict diet free of gluten, dairy, soy, corn, egg, peanut, added sugar, and alcohol. I’m also supposed to cut caffeine but I would rather die, thanks.
Tonnnssss of water. It’s shocking how thirsty the diet has made me but I’m finding this one very easy.
Daily sweat. I’m working on this one, alright??
Heavy sleep. Yup.
Unlike any other instagram diet I’ve been influenced into, this one is sensible, free, and straightforward. I’m on day 5 and finding it shockingly easy? I already have more energy and am feeling svelte. Idk. Long term, I would miss cheese, but I’m going to chase this nice’n’healthy feeling.
INITIATING GREMLIN GLOW.
Dating: We went to Eyval last night. It was PRICEY even considering Roy’s single glass of wine. It was also PACKED. We could barely walk in at 9:15 PM. But the dishes slapped. We started with a citrus cabbage salad with warm dates and tahini dressing and I almost ordered another for dessert.
We did some shopping on 5th avenue today to replenish Roy’s face cream. It ended in a sweet romantic lil time at the Chelsea Hotel lobby bar. I highly recommend this Casamara Onda sodee pop.
Sweating: Lol! No, but really. It’s time to get back into it. It’s getting nicer out and I’m ready to walk this dog.
Buying: New HURR. I had a weird impulse and booked myself into a last-minute appointment. The women at the salon chose a great color for me, and I haven’t been this delighted with my fur in years.
If I look like I’ve been crying, someone at the salon sweetly brought me a glass of bubbles and a slice of almond cake when I was finished. This is the face of furious restraint.
Drinking: I finally got my paws on the banana cream olipop. Yeehaw! It did not disappoint. It has skyrocketed to the number 2 spot in the lineup, behind cherry vanilla. If Billy’s Marketplace ever stops promoting Olipop at 3/$6,
I’ll collapse in the aisle.
Reading: Smutty romance novels I started on vacation.
Watching: The Curious Case of Natalia Grace. WHAT?! The husband/”father” is the campest man on television. Evil Christine and her nudes!? My god. The twists and turns. Poor kid.
Listening: The Wedding Scammer. Good so far!
Ruminating on: Is sugar really this bad for a person? Can I ever eat a fat slice of cake again without being reminded of how good I feel right now? Will this pathway lead to suffering + insufferability? Why does my mind spin while the peloton wheels collect dust?
Cat: I got in a lot of trouble upon my arrival home
